Parent-Teacher Conferences

For 11-year old Kyle, parent-teacher conferences boil down to two simple things:

“My behavior and my grades,” he says.

For Kyle’s mother, they are a little more complex. “I hope to find out how my child is progressing in the classroom-socially, behaviorally, how he’s doing in all the different academic areas,” says Robin Williams.

Often, experts say, parent-teacher conferences don’t go well because either the parent or the teacher feels defensive.

“When the meeting is the result of a problem or a poor grade, that can happen and it can undermine the relationship and what could be a cooperative relationship becomes quickly an adversarial one,” says Dr. Gordon Stanley, a director of counseling.

Dr. Stanley advises parents to walk in with an open mind.

“Take whatever information your child has given you and use it but be prepared for another side of the story. Sometimes adolescents are prone to listen a little bit selectively and also report a little bit selectively.”

Experts also say parents should come prepared with questions, and remember that most of the time the teacher is on your side.

“Parents need to keep in mind, there’s a dual perspective, that’s why you’re meeting with the teacher,” says Dr. Stanley. “Go in and ask about what the course objectives are- how my child is doing in relation to those objectives and how we as parents can be partners in the process.”

Kyle’s mother keeps that partnership alive and well with visits to the classroom along with e-mails and phone calls to teachers.

“I don’t think he has a negative feeling about it,” says Robin Williams. “I think he knows I’m his number one fan and I’m gonna do what it takes to help him succeed.”

Parent-teacher conferences have been the norm for many years. A number of schools around the country are trying something different, however – student-led conferences. According to Keith Eddinger, a teacher in New York, the student-led conferences allow teachers “to get a better picture of each child.” By sitting down and reviewing the students’ strengths and weaknesses together, Eddinger found that many of his students learned more than he thought they had. The remarks from the parents and students also were “overwhelmingly positive,” Eddinger said.

Many parents believe that parent-teacher conferences are times to learn about their child’s progress in school. While that is a very important part of the conference, it is not the sole purpose. There are certain things you should know in order to be prepared for your student’s conference and the school year in general.

• Your involvement matters – a lot. Research shows that students with involved parents are more likely to earn higher grades and test scores, enroll in higher-level programs, be promoted and earn credits, attend school regularly, have better social skills and graduate and go on to college.
• You can be involved in many ways. You can be involved as a teacher – establishing a learning environment at home for the whole family. You can be a supporter of education – volunteering at school and taking part in school activities that promote education. You can be an advocate for your own child and for all children – pressing state and local leaders for better programs and higher achievement. And you can be a decision-maker – taking part in decisions about programs and staffing.
• Children need you. American students are not doing as well in school as they should be. Less than one-third of American students are proficient in reading, writing, math, science and other important subjects.
• Schools need you. Public opinion polls show that parents, elected officials and educators alike agree that the lack of parent involvement is the key challenge facing schools. Teachers and principals are desperate for parents to be more involved. Helping your child at home, volunteering in classrooms, attending parent-teacher meetings, serving on school committees – all help is needed.
• You should be told clearly what the learning standards are in each grade. Parents and students alike need to know at the start of the school year what is being taught in English, math, science, social studies and other subjects in each grade. And they need to be told how that learning will be tested.
• You should be told about the school’s behavior standards. Students need to feel safe in order to learn. Parents should know what the school’s safety and discipline standards are, how troublemakers are handled and what the school is doing to promote an environment of respect and responsibility.
• You should be told clearly how your child’s school is doing. School districts now are required to publish parent-friendly report cards every year that show how students are performing in reading and math, attendance rates, graduation rates and whether all student groups are making good progress.
• Middle and high school parents should be told what it will take for their child to apply for college. Middle school is not too early to begin learning what kind of courses your child should be taking if he or she wants to leave high school ready for college. For instance, many educators say all students should take algebra by eighth grade and should have at least three years of math and science in high school.
• You should know your options. With the federal No Child Left Behind law, students in low-income public schools that fail to meet learning goals for two years in a row now have a chance to transfer to a better school. Plus, if your child’s school still needs improvement after three years, you can request extra tutoring services.
• You should be able to get answers to your important questions. How do I know that my child is safe? What is my child expected to know and be able to do in reading, writing, math and other subjects? How is this learning measured? What will the school do to help if my child is behind? What can I do to help? Whether in person, on the phone or on the Internet, your school should be willing to share the answers to these important questions.
• You should be treated with respect. Parents and other taxpayers may not be the educational experts, but you are the owners of the schools. The educators are hired to work for you and your children, not the other way around. You have the right to be treated as a fully equal partner in your child’s education.
• You’re more likely to get what you want for your child if you work with other parents.

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