Self-Segregation

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  Self-Segregation Robert Seith | CWK Network
   
  Education Feature   “A child may assume that ‘my parents won’t think that this is an okay thing to do,’ to invite a Hispanic child home or to invite an African American child home. But if the parents create that kind of environment at home where, yes, it’s welcoming.”

–

Irma Best, psychologist –
  Related Information What Parents Need To Know Resources

The school might be integrated, but often the cafeteria is not…

“You know, you have the white people hanging out with white people, you’ve got the Mexicans here,” says 18-year-old Juan Manriquz.

“I don’t know. It’s just I feel more comfortable around people my own race, I guess,” explains 15-year-old Rebecca Metcloff.

“I mean it’s just the way things are,” agrees 16-year-old Jeremy Porter. “I mean, it’s nothing bad. It’s nothing good, it’s just the way things are.”

Forty percent of U.S. children are non-white, compared to 30 percent a decade ago. But a recent survey by a Los Angeles research firm found that the vast majority of teenagers only have friends that are of their same race.

“I think many people miscalculated what integration would really do,” says psychologist Irma Best, Ph.D.

And experts say when kids don’t integrate socially, prejudices and stereotypes can prevail.

“We get certain stereotypes that develop in terms of what a certain race or ethnic group is like, and it’s totally distorted,” says Dr. Best.

Chris Rowe, 14, agrees. “I have a lot of friends my own race that do say some stereotypical things about other races.”

Experts say to fight those stereotypes, parents should set an example.

“There’s so much power in modeled behavior,” says Dr. Best. “A picture is worth more than a thousand words — it still is true. That if your child sees you interacting with people of different races, having fun with people who are different from you … then they’re going to try that and they’re going to think it’s a good thing.”

Eighteen-year-old Angela Nguyen has a lot of friends who aren’t like her. “Because you get to learn more about their background and where they’re coming from and how they do things. And you just compare and learn about stuff. It’s really fun.”

After all, as 17-year-old Christina Robinson sees it, “It’s a human race, not just like black race, white race, Asian race, whatever.”

By Larry Eldridge, Jr.
CWK Network, Inc.

One of the inherent traits of children is their curiosity. This is especially evident when children meet people who are “different” than they are. Children will often have questions or concerns about people of different races. To help answer your child’s questions, consider the following tips from the Social Psychology Network:

  • When children ask a question related to prejudice or group differences, be sure to answer directly rather than side-stepping the question or changing the topic. Otherwise, children may infer that they should not ask about these issues, and/or that there is something shameful about the topic. Instead, reinforce children’s natural curiosity, and explain the distinction between noticing social differences and being prejudiced.
  • Do not minimize or pretend not to see differences in race, religion, abilities or other attributes. Acknowledging obvious differences is not the problem – placing negative value judgments on those differences is. For example, “color-blindness” (treating all races equally) is vitally important when it comes to educational opportunities, but color-blindness does not mean ignoring an attribute that students may see as important to their identity.
  • If children mention social differences, do not criticize or discourage their observations (e.g., “It isn’t polite to stare”). Rather, talk to them about their observations and answer any questions they have.
  • If your child’s questions make you uncomfortable, do your best to answer them on the spot, but then take time later to reflect on what made you uncomfortable. If you suspect that you may harbor biases or you still aren’t sure how best to handle a situation, seek feedback from trusted friends and family members.
 

Since the 1950s, students have been adapting to being in classrooms as a unified body instead of individual races. While it may be human nature to hang around people from similar cultures and backgrounds, parents can play a significant role in their children’s opinions toward people of different races. Experts from The Anti-Defamation League have developed the following suggestions to help parents raise racially-accepting children.

  • Accept each of your children as unique and special. Let your children know that you recognize and appreciate their individual qualities. Children who feel good about themselves are less likely to be prejudiced. Also, notice unique and special qualities in other people and discuss them with your children.
  • Help your children become sensitive to other people’s feelings . Studies show that caring, empathetic children are less likely to be prejudiced. Share stories and books with your children that help them understand the points of view of other people. When personal conflicts occur, encourage your children to think about how the other person might be feeling.
  • Make sure your children understand that prejudice and discrimination are unfair. Make it a firm rule that no person should be excluded or teased on the basis of race, religion, ethnicity, accent, gender, disability, sexual orientation or appearance. Point out and discuss discrimination when you see it.
  • Teach your children respect and an appreciation for differences by providing opportunities for interaction with people of diverse groups . Studies show that children playing and working together toward common goals develop positive attitudes about one another. Sports teams, bands, school clubs and community programs are examples of activities that can help counter the effects of homogeneous neighborhoods. In addition to firsthand experiences, provide opportunities for children to learn about people through books, television programs, concerts or other programs that show positive insights into other cultures.
  • Help children recognize instances of stereotyping, prejudice and discrimination . Make sure they know how to respond to such attitudes and behaviors when they see them in action. Television news and entertainment shows, movies and newspapers often provide opportunities for discussion. According to recent studies, encouraging children’s critical thinking ability may be the best antidote to prejudice.
  • Encourage your children to create positive change. Talk to your children about how they can respond to prejudiced thinking or acts of discrimination they observe. Painting over racist graffiti, writing letters to a television network that promotes stereotyped programming or confronting a peer’s discriminatory behavior are all appropriate actions. Confronting classmates is particularly hard for children, so they need to have a ready-made response to such instances. If another child is called a hurtful name, an observer might simply say, “Don’t call him/her that. Call him/her by his/her name.” Or, if your child is the victim, “Don’t call me that. That’s not fair.” or “You don’t like to be called bad names and neither do I.” In all cases, try to help your child feel comfortable in pointing out unfairness.
  • Take appropriate action against prejudice and discrimination. For example, if other adults use bigoted language around you or your children, you should not ignore it. Your children need to know that such behavior is unacceptable even if it is from a familiar adult. A simple phrase will do: “Please don’t talk that way around me or my children.” or “That kind of joke offends me.” Adults need to hold themselves to the same standards they want their children to follow.

 
 

Social Psychology Network
Anti-Defamation League
Beyond Prejudice
 

Self-Esteem and Test Scores

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Education Feature

Self-Esteem and Test Scores

By

Karen Savage
CWK Producer
 
“If we continue to teach kids that they can overcome their problems, that they can add to their knowledge base, then we’re going to see a level of growth that’s going to become incredible. We’ll see an intrinsic level of motivation developing. You know, when you get to the point where you’re intrinsically motivated, there’s not much you cannot do. “
–

Dan A. Sims, Middle School Principal

–

Some kids get good grades.

“Recently, we had a program – awards program – and I got straight A’s,” says 12 year-old Cindy Stroud.

And 15 year-old Arielle Blake says, “I get honor roll grades – A’s and B’s mostly.”

They get A’s and B’s, but why? Part of the answer, only part, is not what they know, but what they believe.

“There are no limits on what I can do. I think I can do anything I want to do,” says Blake.

But too many kids believe they can’t do well. And that thinking is often a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Dan A. Sims, a middle school principal has seen that attitude and even heard kids say the words. “‘O h, that test isn’t important. And I’m not gonna do well on it anyway.’ And that’s how they felt,” he says.

NYU researchers studied low-income 7 th graders. Through-out the school year, three groups were taught that the brain is capable of constant learning and that academic problems could be overcome.

A 4 th group got neither message.

Who, then, got the highest test scores? The first three groups. the kids who got the positive messages.

Sims has seen first-hand how powerful positive thinking can be. “If we continue to teach kids that they can overcome their problems, that they can add to their knowledge base, then we’re going to see a level of growth that’s gonna become incredible. We’ll see an intrinsic level of motivation developing. You know, when you get to the point where you’re intrinsically motivated, there’s not much you cannot do,” he says.

And Arielle Blake is proof. “I’m doing well in school for myself, really. I want to make my mom and dad proud, but it’s mostly for me,” she says.

It seems tests measure not just how much you know, but also how well you think. about yourself.

Cindy Stroud says she knows how important believing in yourself can be. “You have to have self-esteem to get different places in life. You have to believe in what you can do and what you can be,” she says.

Experts say that one way to show kids they can do well is by showing them the success stories.people who have come from similar backgrounds and overcome the same obstacles.

 

 
Related
Information

By Larry Eldridge, Jr.
CWK Network, Inc.

A recent study by researchers at San Diego State University comparing children from the 1960s to children from the 1990s showed an overall increase in self-esteem, but that may not necessarily be a good thing. The study suggests that the increase is not due to improvements in children’s behavior, but is the result of educators and parents urging children to feel better about themselves. The authors of the study went on to say that even though self-esteem may be on the rise, society as a whole has little to show for it.

 

By Larry Eldridge, Jr.
CWK Network, Inc.

According to the National Network for Child Care, children’s actions are affected by how they feel about themselves. Most of the time, children with high self-esteem will behave in the following ways:

  • Make friends easily
  • Show enthusiasm for new activities
  • Be cooperative and follow age-appropriate rules
  • Control their behavior
  • Play by themselves and with other children
  • Like to be creative and have their own ideas
  • Be happy, full of energy and talk to others without much encouragement

In order to help your child build high self-esteem, try some of the following suggestions:

  • Praise children’s successes (even very small ones). Praise those who try hard.
  • Give sincere affection. Let children know that they are loved and wanted.
  • Show interest in children’s activities, projects or problems.
  • Tell children what to do instead of what not to do. This prepares them for what to do. Instead of saying, “Don’t throw the ball,” say “Roll the ball on the floor.” Instead of saying, “Don’t squeeze the kitten,” say “Hold the kitten gently.”
  • Let children know that mistakes are a natural part of growing up. Everyone makes mistakes.
  • Try to ignore temper tantrums and other negative behavior as much as possible.
  • Show appreciation when children cooperate, help you, say kind things to other children, obey the rules and do other positive things.
  • Remember that learning new skills takes time and practice. Children do not learn new skills all at once.
  • Respond affectionately when children behave well. Tell children what you like about their behavior.
  • Let children know that you believe in them and expect them to do well.

National Network for Child Care
Personality and Social Psychology Review
San Diego State University