Over the past four years… the number of young people diagnosed with AIDS has been steadily rising. Health experts say even among gay males, considered more aware, and educated about the disease, there seems to be a growing sense of complacency.

15-year-old Qaadir has friends who are gay…

So does 14-year-old Wesley…

And when it comes to h-i-v…the virus that causes aids…

By Larry Eldridge, Jr.
CWK Network, Inc.

Recent reports show that nearly half of high school students are or have been sexually active. Unfortunately, with sexual activity comes an increase in Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). That’s why it is extremely important to talk to your kids about being sexually responsible – before they engage in sex. Consider the following statistics provided by The Alan Guttmacher Institute:

• Every year three million sexually active teens – about one-in-four – acquire an STD.
• A single act of unprotected sex with an infected partner puts a teenage woman at a one percent risk of acquiring HIV, a 30 percent risk of getting genital herpes, and a 50 percent chance of contracting gonorrhea.
• Chlamydia is more common among teens than among older men and women. In some testing situations, 10 to 29 percent of sexually active teenage women and 10 percent of teenage men were found to have Chlamydia.
• Teens have higher rates of gonorrhea than sexually active men and women aged 20 to 44.

By Larry Eldridge, Jr.
CWK Network, Inc.

Talking to your child about sex and sexually transmitted diseases may not be something you look forward to, but it could be the most important step in protecting your child from risky sexual behavior. Studies show that teenagers who feel highly connected to their parents are far more likely to delay sexual activity than their peers. Before approaching this sensitive topic, consider the following tips developed by Peer to Peer: Stop, Think, Be Safe!

• Start early – Research shows that younger children seek their parent’s advice more than adolescents, who tend to depend more on their friends and the media. Take advantage of the opportunity to talk with your young children about sexual health. Discussing dating, relationships, STDs and HIV can make a lasting impression. And it gives you a chance to provide your children with accurate information that reflects your personal values and principles. The quality of parent-child relationships has an important influence on adolescents’ sexual behaviors.
• Initiate conversations with your child – Don’t wait for your children to ask you about sex, HIV or STDs. Although you can hope that your children come to you with their questions and concerns, it may not happen. Use everyday opportunities to talk about issues related sexual health. For example, news stories, music, television shows or movies are great starters for bringing up health topics. If your family is watching a television show where the teenagers are promiscuous or a teen is pregnant, ask your kids what they thought of the program when it’s over. Ask if they agree with the behavior or decisions of the teenagers in the show. Just a few questions can start a valuable conversation.
• Talk WITH your child, not AT your child – Make sure you listen to your children the way you want your children to listen to you. Try to ask questions that will encourage them to share specific information about feelings, decisions and actions. Try to understand exactly what your kids are saying. It is important for your kids to feel that they have been heard. Try not to be judgmental. Let your kids know that you value their opinions, even when they differ from your own.
• Create an open environment – Research shows that kids who feel their parents speak openly about sex and listen to them carefully are less likely to engage in high-risk behaviors, compared to teenagers who do not feel they can talk with their parents about sex. Adolescents who report a sense of connection to their parents, family and school, and who have a higher grade point average, are more likely than other teens to wait to engage in intercourse. Teens who report previous discussions of sexuality with parents are seven times more likely to feel able to communicate with a partner about HIV/AIDS than those who have not had such discussions. An open family environment not only reduces sexual risk-taking behaviors, it also gives teenagers a safe place to ask questions and get accurate information. As parents, be available, honest and attentive. Praise your children for coming to you to talk about sex, which will teach them that you are always available for information or advice.
• Be prepared and practice – It isn’t necessarily easy to talk about sex with your kids. In fact, it can be extremely difficult for some parents. Don’t be afraid to practice. You can practice in front of a mirror, with your spouse or partner, or with friends. Your ability to speak comfortably about sexual health will make your children more comfortable asking questions and discussing sensitive issues.
• Be honest: It’s okay to say, “I don’t know” – When your children trust and value your opinion, they will be more likely to come to you with their questions and concerns. It’s also important to know that you do not need to be a sexual health expert. It’s okay if you don’t know all the answers to all of your children’s questions. It’s okay and honest to say, “I don’t know.” In fact, if you don’t know the answer to a question, you can search for the correct information together.
• Communicate your values – In addition to talking to your children about the biological facts of sex, it’s important that they also learn that sexual relationships involve emotions, caring and responsibility. Parents need to share their values and principles about sex. Although your children may not adopt these values as their own, they are an important source of information as your children develop their own set of values about sexuality.

Peer to Peer: Stop, Think, Be Safe!
U.S. Department of Health & Human Services
Campaign for our Children, Inc.

Three years ago. when we first interviewed ‘Angela’ as we’ll call her, she smiled and laughed and talked openly about being born HIV positive.

“I’ve been H-I-V positive all my life.” she proclaimed.

But now. it’s painful to talk about HIV. and she doesn’t want anyone to know.

“As I grew, the people became more ignorant, so I just like, keep it to myself about it,” she says.

Did people around her change? Or did Angela? Experts say it’s a combination of both.

Pamela Bachanas is a Clinical Psychologist with Grady Health Systems in Atlanta as well as the Emory School of Medicine. “We really hear kids talking about they sit in health class and they hear about H-I-V in the context of people talking about it like this is some dreadful disease you get I you do bad things. Well these kids didn’t do bad things. they were born,” she says.

Angela is now old enough to be afraid of what would happen if her classmates learned she was h-i-v positive..

“If they find out they might tell other people and other people, and then it’s going to be (split) teaming up on me. thinking I’m different,” she says.

“Particularly during adolescence kids don’t want to stand out and be different from their peers. and that probably more than any other developmental period it’s so important for them to be like everyone else, and not have anything about them that is different,” says Dr. Bachanas.

And so, adolescents like “Angela” become isolated and ashamed and that’s why, experts say, they desperately need the help of their parents.

“You have to continue to give them the knowledge that they’re o-k with this virus. that the virus is not you,” says HIV educator Zina Age.

“For parents to realize that that’s an area that they have nobody to talk to about and their parents are one of the few people in their lives that know their situation and can empathize with their situation,” says Dr. Bachanas.

Kids with HIV in Missouri are now able to have hope – Camp Hope. The camp is the only one in the region that specifically serves children with HIV and their families. The kids and their families are able to be a part of a fun, trusting, supportive and peaceful environment free from the daily struggles associated with living with HIV.

Camp Hope is an annual program affiliated with Project ARK (AIDS Resources and Knowledge), which was developed by the Washington University (St. Louis) School of Medicine. When Camp Hope was founded by Project ARK in 1994, the life expectancy of children living with HIV was usually bleak. Now, however, due to advances in HIV care, children once thought not to survive past preschool are preparing to enter high school.

The best approach to take in case your child comes to you with questions about a classmate who has HIV is to be prepared beforehand. Parents can use the time to educate their children with facts about HIV as well as on how to treat other people. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, parents might consider including the following points in that conversation:

• Provide the adolescent with a definition of AIDS. For example, explain that AIDS stands for acquired immunodeficiency syndrome. It is a condition in which the body’s immune system breaks down. Because the immune system fails, a person with AIDS typically develops a variety of life-threatening illnesses that almost always prove fatal.
• Give a definition of HIV infection. The adolescent needs to understand that AIDS is caused by a virus that scientists call human immunodeficiency virus, or HIV. Once a person is infected, he or she can infect others, even if no symptoms are present. The fact that other STDs share this characteristic provides an excellent opportunity to expand the conversation to include other sexually transmitted diseases should the opportunity feel right. Point out that a special blood test can detect HIV.
• Explain how HIV is transmitted from one person to another. The adolescent needs to clearly understand that there are two primary ways that people become infected with HIV:
• By engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse (vaginal, anal, or oral) with an infected person
• By sharing drug needles or syringes with an infected person.
• A parent might want to point out that women who are infected with HIV can pass it on to their babies during pregnancy, birth or breast-feeding. The fact that some people have become infected through receiving blood transfusions might also be pointed out. Although these cases are rare, the fact that a parent knows about them and mentions them can only add to their credibility in discussing such an important subject.
• Explain how to reduce the risk for HIV infection from sex. The easiest way to avoid getting HIV from sex is to not have sex. Abstinence is the only sure protection. This may seem simplistic in the face of the significant rates of sexual activity reported by teens in today’s society. However, it does provide an opening to discuss some of the values that your family stands for in regard to premarital sex. Remind them of some of the realistic values of choosing not to have intercourse including:
  – Virtually guaranteeing their safety from all sexually transmitted    diseases, including HIV infection. Point out that approximately    every 11 seconds a teen in the U.S. gets a sexually transmitted    disease.
  – Providing the teen with additional time to mature physically and    emotionally.
  – Providing them with more time to learn and understand more about   the physical and emotional aspects of sexual relationships.
  – Avoiding unwanted pregnancy. Some sources report that   approximately every 30 seconds a teen in the U.S. gets pregnant.
• Finally, reinforce the critical importance of avoiding making decisions about sexual intercourse while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs. These substances can cloud their judgment and cause them to take risks that put them in danger of becoming infected with HIV.
• Explain how HIV is transmitted through drug use.
• Discuss how to join the community response to AIDS.
• Give your thoughts on the importance of understanding and compassion toward people with AIDS.
• Talk about the importance of eliminating prejudice and discrimination related to AIDS.

American Medical Association

UCSF Center for HIV Information
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/dhap.htm