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19-year-old
Alison remembers the hurt and humiliation of middle school. She
says, “I’d be walking down the hallway and they’d be like, ‘Alison,
you can take your mask off, it’s not Halloween anymore.’ Or, ‘Alison,
you’re so ugly, no guy would ever kiss you.’” The bullies
made sure she didn’t have friends. “They’d tell the other
kids, ‘Oh, if you’re friends with Alison you’ll never be
popular, you’ll get made fun of, or people will tease you for it.’”
According to a UCLA study, almost half of 6th graders report
being bullied at least once a week. UCLA Professor Dr. Sandra Graham
says, “In surveys that ask kids about how often you get picked
on, some kids will say, you know, once or twice a week. Other kids
will say several times a day. So at least 60 to 70 percent of middle
school kids and high school kids report that they’ve been
involved in some kind of bullying incident.”
10-year-old Glen Carter says, “They say you’re like
stupid, you don’t know much, you’re dumb.” 14-year-old
Madeleine Zamudio says, “They would call me hamburger because
I’m fat, and they would call me scarface because of my scar
on my face.” 17-year-old Marvin Novelo says, “I was
actually just going to the restroom and then two guys, two fifth
graders just picked me up, and they threw me feet first into the
toilet.“
Researchers say bullying can cause kids to hate school, and can
lead to illness, even depression.
Dr. Graham says, “ Now, I don’t want to be alarming
to parents, but kids who have chronic and serious bullying from
a young age on, they’re at risk for adult psychological difficulties
and even suicide.”
She says parents should make it clear bullying is not the victim’s
fault. “Well one thing you don’t want kids to do is
to blame themselves for harassment, so one thing you can say is,
this is the kind of thing that is happening to other kids too.
It’s not just you.”
For Alison, the bullying finally stopped when she transferred
to a different high school. Alison says, “Guys came up to
me and complimented me. You know, for once people wanted to be
my friend.”
Psychologists urge parents to report bullying problems to the school.
A drop in grades, or a desire to miss school are warning signs of
bullying. |
By Larry Eldridge
CWK Network, Inc.
It may seem like innocent child’s play, but physical and verbal
taunting can weigh heavily on kids. According to a new report, teasing
and bullying top the list of children’s school troubles. In a
survey called “Talking with Kids About Tough Issues,” authors
polled 823 kids ranging in age from 8 to 15. The majority reported
teasing and bullying are “big problems” that rank higher
than racism, smoking, drinking, drugs or sex.
Australian researchers also found that teenagers who are the targets
of repeated taunts, threats and/or physical violence are more likely
to develop symptoms of anxiety and depression. Girls appear to be particularly
vulnerable.
“Bullying, teasing and harassment are psychological and psychiatric
traumas,” says Dr. William S. Pollack, a clinical psychologist
at Harvard Medical School. Those traumas can lead to “anxiety,
depression, dysfunction, nightmares, and later, incapacity to function
actively and healthfully as an adult.” |
By Larry Eldridge
CWK Network, Inc.
Experts say it is extremely important to open the lines
of communication with your kids.
Consider the following tips:
- Start early
- Initiate conversations
- Create an open environment
- Communicate your values
- Listen to your child
- Try to be honest
- Be patient
- Share your experiences
Also, watch for behavioral changes. Children who are suffering from
teasing and bullying may try to hide the hurt. They become withdrawn
from family and friends, lose interest in hobbies, and may turn to
destructive habits like alcohol, drugs, and acts of violence.
It is the ultimate responsibility of your child’s school to
make the school safe for him/her. Share the following tips with your
child, and tell him/her to only do the things recommended below if
he/she is comfortable doing them. If your child is not comfortable,
encourage him/her to get help from a teacher or counselor. And even
when he/she takes the actions below, it is always a good idea for
him/her to let parents and teachers know.
- Be assertive
- Write the harasser a letter
- Document incidents
- Check with other students
- File a formal complaint
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