Massimo
Mariano was 25, and about to become a father. Massimo says, “I
was kind of afraid to become a Dad. And I said to myself, ‘I
don’t know if I can do a good job.’” He’d
heard stories about what to expect when the baby arrives. “I
heard so many other dads tell me all kinds of crazy stuff about
it. ‘Oh, you will be so miserable about it and so sad.’ I
was kind of surrounded by all this negativity.”

Like most dads, Massimo was fine. He was able to deal with
the fear, the stress, and the sleepless nights. But according
to new research from the University of Oxford… 4 percent
of new dads become clinically depressed. “Some of the fathers
actually experience postpartum depression that is very similar
in some ways to what the mother experiences,” says Dr. Peter
Thomas, an Atlanta psychologist.

And, the researchers found, when dads are depressed—-even for
just a few months after the baby is born—their sons are
more likely to grow up with behavior problems. Why? Experts don’t
know—but they say, infants are more sensitive than most parents
realize. Child psychologist Dr. Jennifer Thorpe in Atlanta says, “This
is a very important time, basically where children learn, does
my world respond to me in a way that makes me feel safe and comfortable?
Or, is my world a frightening place where my needs are not met?”

Experts say it’s crucial for dads who feel depressed to seek
professional help— if not for themselves—for the child. Massimo’s
advice? “Try to do as many things as you can with your child,” he
says. “Go to the park, dance, read. Because the way you feel…your
child feels.”

According to Depression After Delivery, Inc., (DAD), postpartum symptoms
and complications may occur days after the birth of a child or they may appear
gradually over time. While many of these symptoms apply to a woman suffering
from postpartum depression, they may apply to a man suffering from postpartum
depression as well:

• Sluggishness, fatigue and exhaustion
• Sadness, depression and hopelessness
• Appetite and sleep disturbances
• Poor concentration or confusion
• Memory loss
• Overconcern for the baby
• Uncontrollable irritability
• Feelings of guilt, inadequacy or worthlessness
• Lack of interest in the baby
• Fear of harming the baby or oneself
• Fear of losing control or “going crazy”
• Exaggerated highs and/or lows
• Lack of interest in sex
• Insomnia
• Intrusive thoughts

Postpartum depression is normally thought to affect
only women, but new fathers can also feel sad or depressed following the
birth of a baby. New roles in the family are being defined and identified
after the addition of a little one, and new fathers may not know exactly
where they fit in, and they may begin feeling neglected because of the
amount of attention a new baby requires. Experts at HealthSquare give the
following suggestions for individuals feeling depressed after the birth
of a child:

• Remember that it’s normal to feel sad or worried right after
  your baby is born. This is a very big change in your life. Don’t
  feel guilty.
• Rest is important. Try not to get overly stressed. Ask your
  family or friends to help, especially if you have other children.
• Get involved. Doing what you can to help may dissuade thoughts
  of helplessness or neglect. Take part in feedings, diaper changes,
  etc.
• Share your feelings with your partner, a friend, or another
  father. Often just talking things out with someone you trust can
  be a big help.
• Take good care of yourself. Eat well. Try to get out of the
  house a little each day. Go for a walk or meet with a friend.
• Call
  your doctor, a hospital emergency department, or a mental health
  center if you need to talk about your problems. They will help you
  sort through your feelings. They also may be able to help you find
  a support group.

Depression
After Delivery (DAD)
HealthSquare