Pre-School Responsibility

Since the time she was little, Kristen has been doing
chores around the house.

“When I was cleaning she always liked to clean, so I would
give her a dust rag or feather duster to dust around,” says
her mother, Denise Harold.

Now at 5, she sets the table, helps with the dishes… vacuums
the floor

“And without being told she goes into the laundry room
and gets the vacuum and vacuums up,” says Mrs. Harold, “(then)
Wraps up the cord puts away the vacuum, I never even knew that
it happened.”

Kristen is helping her mom now… but she also may
be increasing the chance she’ll do better in school later.

According to a study of 379 children published in the ‘Journal
of Personality’, kids who had more responsibilities at age
5, were more likely to have better grades and better behavior in
school as 8-year-olds.

“When you get to school you have multiple step direction
of things that children are expected to do,” explains Psychologist
Laura Mee, Ph.D., “If they’ve been practicing that
and listening to parents and following thing in a sequence at home
for several years… I think it is more automatic for them.”

She says simple chores also help a child develop a sense of confidence,
independence.

“And then feeling more self confidence that then helps
you have more mastery in school,” says Dr. Mee.

She says if parents are paying attention, they’ll get cues
from their child when they want to help out.

“So if you can catch them when they want to do things independently,
it’s a great time to encourage that and help them move forward,” says
Dr. Mee.

Mrs. Harold agrees, “I know too many parents who their take
is, it’s easier if I do it myself. I’m in too much of
a hurry I’ve got to get this done, let me take care of it… no
you sit down.”

Giving your preschooler chores he or she can handle is a good way
to build self-confidence and responsibility in your child. Consider
the following list of chores developed by experts at Louisiana State
University Ag Center:

• Setting the table
• Clearing their plates after a meal
• Reporting the weather
• Helping clean up his or her room
• Picking up after completing a task
• Watering plants or feeding
  pets

As a parent, you have a great deal
of influence on your child’s attitude toward responsibility.
If you put off doing unpleasant tasks around the house or make promises
and never fulfill them, don’t be surprised if your child adopts
a similar unreliable manner. According to the OSU Extension Service,
you must expect your child to act responsibly at an early age. Part
of growing up is learning how to take care of oneself and care for
others. If your child doesn’t learn this lesson, he or she will
be ill prepared for life.

Experts for the Center for Effective Parenting say that your child
can take on more responsibility than you might think, and he or she
will enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that work provides him or
her. They offer the following tips for raising your child to be responsible:

• Let your child perform tasks for himself or herself – Even
  very young children begin to show an interest in performing tasks
  for themselves. You can encourage independence by letting your
  child perform tasks for himself or herself as soon as he or she
  expresses a desire to do so. Focus on your child’s effort,
  and avoid being critical of the end product.
• Let your child help with challenging tasks – Encourage
  your child to try to perform new tasks and to face new challenges.
  By doing so, you will certainly boost your child’s sense
  of competence.
• Encourage your child to make decisions – Begin encouraging
  decision-making while your child is young. At first, choices should
  be kept simple, like allowing your child to choose from two outfits
  which one to wear. As your child ages, encourage him or her to
  make more complex decisions. Your child will learn to make good
  choices by being given choices.
• Learn to model responsibility and independence – Children
  learn by watching their parents. One of the best ways for you to
  teach your child to behave responsibly and independently is by
  displaying those behaviors yourself. Let your child see you make
  decisions without wavering and take care of responsibilities in
  an appropriate manner.
• Help and encourage your child to solve his or her own problems – Teach
  your child the importance of coming up with his or her own solutions
  to problems. The ability to problem-solve is a skill that will
  be useful throughout your child’s life. It will also aid
  in his or her development of confidence and independence.
• Encourage your child to take risks – Taking risks involves
  facing potential failure. Many parents try to shield their children
  from the disappointment of failure, and by doing so they do their
  children a disservice. Your child needs to take risks in order
  to grow. He or she must experience failure in order to learn how
  to cope with it.
• Be there to provide support when needed – Even the most
  independent-minded children need to lean on their parents from
  time to time. Make an effort to be available to your child and
  to provide support when needed. If your child knows you will be
  there when he or she needs you, your child will have the confidence
  needed to explore the world.
• Provide adequate discipline – Children need structure
  in their lives to feel secure. Appropriate discipline provides
  this structure. Your child needs to know what to expect from you
  and what you expect from him or her. Consistent discipline helps
  your child learn about what’s expected of him or her. If
  your child knows what to expect, he or she will feel more in control
  of his or her life and is thus more likely to behave in responsible
  and independent ways.

Louisiana State University
Ag Center
Oregon State University
Extension Service
Center for Effective Parenting