A sense pervades right now in America that something
bad could happen at any moment. On recommendations from the
federal government, school children are practicing emergency
evacuation, hardware stores are stocking up on duct tape and
parents are stockpiling food, water and medicine.
They prepare, but some parents wonder if the preparations
could scare kids more than the threat itself.
“Youth today are facing many more issues than previous
generations, and I don’t think they need to feel this added
fear about what’s the world politics,” says Lanae Bach,
a mother. “It just adds more stress to kids’ lives.”
Experts say it’s important for parents to strike a balance
between realistic and reassuring.
“First of all, listen to what your children are saying,
and then talk to them, and then reassure them,” says
Dr. Sukhmani Gill, a child psychiatrist with the Palo Alto
Medical Foundation.
If your child is under age 6, be calm, use simple language
and answer only the questions that he or she asks. If your
child is aged 7 to 12, try emphasizing increased security
around the country, but don’t share your deepest fears. And,
Gill says, if you have teenage children, engage them in adult
conversations to find out what they think and if they feel
safe.
“I think we have enough contacts in our neighborhood
that I think if something did happen, we have people who could
back us up,” 18-year-old Priya says.
Says 15-year-old Brittany: “I don’t think about it [terrorism]
at all. I don’t really prepare for it. It doesn’t really bother
me.”
That’s OK, because as Gill says, “You also want to let
them know that it’s OK to have a good time, too, and that
we are going to go about our lives as normally as we possibly
can.”
Still, if your child experiences nightmares, depression or
a sudden change in grades, those might be signs that he or
she has a problem. Experts say the main thing is to let them
see you taking active steps to be safe and to answer all of
their questions. If that doesn’t help, consider seeking counsel
from a mental health professional.
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By Suki Shergill-Connolly, M.Ed.
CWK Network, Inc.
With the U.S. Department
of Homeland Security reporting an elevated (code yellow) terrorist
threat status for the nation, you may notice more anxious
or scared behavior in your children. Feelings of fear are
healthy and natural for both adults and children. But as the
adult, it is your job to keep control of the situation and
to help your child through this difficult period.
According to the American Red Cross (ARC), children take
their cues from parents on how to handle an emergency situation.
If you react with alarm, your child may become more scared.
He or she will see your fear as proof that the danger is real.
It is also important to understand and anticipate how your
child might act in the event of another terrorist attack.
The ARC advises you to be aware that your child might express
the following fears after a disaster:
- The event will happen again.
- Someone will be injured or killed.
- He or she will be separated from the family.
- He or she will be left alon
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The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
encourages parents to discuss terrorism and war with their
children. It offers the following tips to help you successfully
inform and explain to your child the possibility of another
terrorist attack:
Listen to your child:
- Create a time and place for your child to ask his or her
questions.
- Remember that children tend to personalize situations.
- Help your child find ways to express himself or herself.
Answer your child’s questions:
- Use words and concepts your child can understand.
- Give your child honest answers and information.
- Be prepared to repeat explanations or have several conversations.
- Acknowledge and support your child’s thoughts, feelings
and reactions.
- Be consistent and reassuring, but don’t make unrealistic
promises.
- Avoid stereotyping groups of people by race, nationality
or religion. Use the opportunity to teach tolerance and
explain prejudice.
- Remember that children learn from watching their parents
and teachers.
- Let your child know how you are feeling.
- Don’t confront your child’s way of handling events.
Provide your child with support:
- Don’t let your child watch lots of violent or upsetting
images on television.
- Help your child establish a predictable routine and schedule.
- Coordinate information between home and school.
- Children who have experienced trauma or losses may show
more intense reactions to tragedies or news of war or terrorist
incidents. These children may need extra support and attention.
- Watch for physical symptoms related to stress.
- Watch for possible preoccupation with violent movies or
war theme video/computer games.
- Help your child communicate with others and express himself
or herself at home.
- Let your child be a child.
In addition to discussing terrorism and war with your child,
it is important to watch and observe him or her for any signs
of anxiety or fear. Recognizing the difference between what
is normal behavior for your child and signs of true anxiety
is extremely important in coping with any threat to personal
safety. The Nemours Foundation says that children may exhibit
the following behaviors and signs as a result of growing anxiety:
- Becomes impulsive or distracted
- Exhibits nervous movements or temporary twitches
- Experiences problems getting to sleep and or staying asleep
longer than usual
- Has sweaty hands
- Experiences an accelerated heart rate and breathing
- Feels nauseous and suffers headaches and/or stomachaches
Lending a sympathetic ear is always helpful, and sometimes
just talking about the fear can help your child move beyond
it. If you think your child is having difficulty coping with
these events, the Nemours Foundation recommends consulting
his or her doctor or a mental health professional.
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