School Bus Bullies

A
month ago, two students began taunting 14-year-old Michelle on
the school bus.

“Her and this boy were calling me a fat a-s-s, and the
boy finally said ‘man, fat people sure do stink’, and
so I said well why don’t you take a bath?”

The girl then pointed the tip of her umbrella in Michelle’s
face…

“I snapped and grabbed the umbrella and threw it down and
told her to stop sticking it into my face,” she says.

At that point, the girl attacked Michelle. Punching and slapping
her at least a half dozen times before the bus driver could stop… come
to the back of the bus and break it up.

160-thousand students miss school each day for fear of being
bullied. Kids are especially vulnerable on a school bus: they are
trapped in a small space… And hostility can quickly escalate.

“I think at times I can become contagious,” says
Psychologist Malcolm Anderson, Ph.D. “It’s not just
the hostility but that nobody is watching and we can do whatever
we want.”

“I felt like everybody was about to jump on me. I felt
like I was about to be pounced. Like beaten up severely,” says
Michelle.

Experts say bullied kids often don’t want to talk about
it… so parents need to pry.

“Listen very closely to what your kids say what happens
on the school bus, and begin to ask very serious questions about
their trip to and from school,” says Anderson.

How do you stop the bullying? He says first, talk with the bully’s
parents… and if that doesn’t work, talk to the school
principal.

But he also says there’s something the victim can do.

“If somebody is calling you a name or something like that,
one of the best things you can do is ignore it. To not instigate
it, to not contribute to the bantering back and forth,” says
Anderson.

Michelle says she followed the same advice she’s given
her friends who were bullied.

“I tell them to ignore it and if they have a problem we all
talk about it. We call each other on the phone and um, we have discussions.”

“Bullying isn’t that serious of a problem.”

“My child isn’t being bullied. He hasn’t said
anything.”

“It’s just a stage kids go through.”

Have you ever heard – or said – statements like these
regarding bullying? While this may be the mindset of many parents,
they may be downplaying a more serious problem. A recent study from
the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development revealed
the following statistics about bullying, specifically focused on
students between grades six and 10:

• Sixteen percent of U.S. schoolchildren say they have been bullied
  by other students during the current school year.
• Thirteen percent admitted to engaging in moderate to frequent
  bullying of others.
• Twenty-nine percent had been involved in some aspect of bullying,
  either as a bully or a target.
• Students who were bullied reported having greater difficulty
  making friends and poorer relationships with their classmates.
• Bullies were more likely to be involved in other problem behaviors,
  including drinking and smoking.
• Boys were both more likely to bully others and more likely to
  be victims of bullying than girls.
• Boys were more likely to suffer physical abuse (hitting, slapping,
  pushing) than girls.
• Bullying occurs most frequently in grades six through eight.

While many people believe that bullying is a normal part of
growing up, it can often lead to problems down the road. Research indicates
that 25 percent of the children who bully others will have criminal records
by the time they are 30. In addition, children who are constantly bullied sometimes
resort to drastic and often dangerous actions, such as skipping school or carrying
weapons. Andrea Simanson, a writer for ChristianMommies.com, has developed
the following list of recommendations for parents who think their child is
being bullied, or is a bully:

• Listen. Encourage your children to talk about school, social events,
  kids in their class, even their walk (or ride) to and from school.
  This can help you can identify any problems your kids may be having.
• Take your children’s complaints about bullying seriously.
  Probing a seemingly minor incident may uncover something more serious.
  Children are often afraid or ashamed to tell anyone that they have
  been bullied.
• Watch for symptoms of victimization, such as withdrawal, a drop
  in grades, torn clothes or requests for extra money.
• Tell your child’s school immediately if you think that your
  child is being bullied.
• Work with other parents to ensure that the children in your neighborhood
  are supervised on their way to and from school.
• Don’t bully your children yourself – physically or verbally.
  Use non-physical, consistent discipline measures. Don’t ridicule,
  yell at or ignore your children when they misbehave.
• Teach children the social skills they need to make friends. A
  confident, resourceful child who has friends is less likely to be
  bullied or to bully others.
• Praise kindness toward others. Show children that kindness is
  valued.
• Teach children ways to resolve arguments without violent words
  or actions. Talk about self-protection skills – how to walk
  confidently, to stay alert to their environment and to stand up for
  themselves verbally.
• Recognize that bullies may be acting out feelings
  of insecurity, anger or loneliness. If your child is a bully, try
  to get to the root of the problem. Ask teachers, school counselors
  or child psychologists to teach you specific strategies you can
  use at home.

National Institute of Child
Health and Human Development
Stop Bullying
Now! (HRSA)
Christian Mommies