Camera Phones

Camera phones, for many teens, are a convenient way to ‘save the moment.’

“I like them ’cause you can take pictures of your friends and you don’t have to worry about carrying an extra camera,” Emily explains.

But often, some people are not aware their photo is being taken.

One teen says, “Somebody might think it’s a regular cell phone and it can have a camera on it and they would never know.”

“[Some kids] are taking shots of people in bathrooms, or at parties, people doing certain things.”

Adds, “Sometimes people [take pictures under girls skirts.]” stick it up girls’ skirts and take pictures.”

“I think it’s pretty sick personally.”

But to other kids, experts say, it’s a game.

“I think part of it is I don’t think I’m gonna get caught,” says adolescent and teen psychologist Stephen Mathis. “[Another] part of it is not realizing what a boundary violation it is and thinking I don’t have any mal-intentions. I’m just taking it cause it’s kind of a cool little prank and I want to have fun and it’s kind of an exciting deal.”

Experts say parents should talk about boundaries, violation of privacy, and ask their teens questions. For instance, Dr. Mathis offers, “”How would you feel were the shoe on the other foot? Were you in the position of having your picture taken without your knowledge, without your consent by somebody you really didn’t know that well?'”

Parents can also threaten to take away the privilege of a camera phone if it’s being used inappropriately.

Emily says she’s not worried about teens abusing cell phone cameras.

But, she concedes, ” I guess you can’t really know how it feels unless it happens to you.”

Should teenagers be allowed to have camera phones? The wireless industry is hoping parents will say “yes.” Experts say teenagers have become the cell phone market’s fastest growing demographic group. A study by the market research firm Cahners In-Stat Group predicts the number of young cell phone subscribers will explode to 43 million by next year. That means half of all teenagers will own a cell phone, and three out of four will use one, many of which will have cameras built in to them.

Research shows parents are often willing to pay for the cell phone to keep track of their kids. However, parents need to be mindful of the downsides of having camera phones, such as spying on other people, dangerous pranks, etc. Teens, on the other hand, told researchers they use phones mostly for social purposes – and they want more colorful and interesting cell phone options.

The best way to prevent your teenager from using their camera phones in inappropriate ways is to set ground rules and expectations in every area of their life, starting when they are young. If they have a good grasp of right and wrong, it should apply to every area of their lives, including their use of camera phones. Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D., has developed guidelines to follow to monitor your teenager and to keep a closer eye on their behavior.

• Get to know the parents of your children’s friends. This is absolutely the most important thing you can do if you want to have access to your children’s world. When your teen begins to “hang” with a new kid, get the phone number, call the parents and introduce yourself. Make a point of giving the child a ride home so you can walk up to the door and shake the parent’s hand. As soon as the kids start making plans to get together, touch base with the other parent to exchange information about rules regarding curfew, acceptable activities and supervision. Responses will range from relief that you are as concerned as they are to resentment that you expect parental support and involvement. Parents who are like-minded are going to become part of the support system that keeps your children safe. Parents who either don’t care where their kids are or who think it’s absolutely fine for them to be unsupervised aren’t going to respond well to being asked to be responsible. You may be dismayed but at least you will know where you stand.
• Communicate regularly with those parents. When teens make plans that involve staying at another teen’s house or getting rides to events with other parents, make sure that you have a parent-to-parent communication at some point in the planning process. Make sure that it is really okay with the other parent that your child is sleeping over. Conversely, make sure that the other parent knows if you are driving their children or dropping them at an event. Again, check for agreement about the level of supervision.
• Establish the “Three W” rule. Teens need to tell you where they are going, who they will be with, and when they will be back. This is not an invasion of privacy; it’s common courtesy. Adult roommates generally do the same for each other. You don’t need minute details, just the broad strokes of what is being planned for the evening. If something comes up, your child can be located. People engaged in “legitimate” activities don’t need to hide their whereabouts.
• Respect privacy, but refuse to accept secretive behavior. It’s important to your teen’s developing sense of independence to have some privacy, but he or she must learn the difference between privacy and secrecy. Your kids do have a right to talk with friends privately, to keep a diary and to have uninterrupted time alone. But if your teen starts being evasive – get busy. Calmly, firmly, steadily insist that you have a right to know who their friends are and what they are doing together. Talk to teachers about who your kid’s friends are as well and start to build alliances with their parents.
• Talk regularly with your kids about their choice of friends. Kids often don’t realize that they’ve fallen in with bad company. They like to think that they see something positive in a kid that everyone knows is bad news. They may be drawn to the exotic, the different, the risky. They are teens, after all! And part of the job of adolescence is learning how to judge character. Keep lines of communication with your child open so that you can talk about their relationships.
• Support your child’s positive involvement in a sport, art or activity. Generally, kids who come through the teen years unscathed are those who have a passion about something and who develop a friendship circle around it. This could be the football team, the dance studio, the skateboarding club or a martial art dojo. It really doesn’t matter what it is, but what does matter is that you get involved. Provide rides. Watch practices, games and performances. It doesn’t need to take a lot of time or money to let your teen and his or her friends know that you care. Bring the whole team popsicles on a hot day or hot chocolate on a cold one. Let your child – and his or her group – know that you are willing to put your time, money and energy into supporting healthy activity.
• Help your child get a job. If your child spends too much time at loose ends and doesn’t have a sport or an activity, at least get him or her working. A job teaches life skills, eats up idle time and helps kids feel good about themselves.
• Act swiftly and certainly when something unacceptable happens. Your son isn’t where he said he would be? Go find him. Your daughter’s friend invited a boy into the house when she thought you had gone to sleep? Get dressed and take everybody home. Your kid comes home drunk? Put him or her to bed for the rest of the night, but deal with it first thing in the morning. Be consistently clear, kind and definite in response to unacceptable behavior and kids will see that you really won’t tolerate it.
• Model adult behavior when you are in conflict with your teen. Whatever you do, don’t yell, threaten, preach or “lose it” if you don’t like a behavior, a friendship or how your child interacts with you. You will render yourself totally ineffective with your teen. Your child will take you far more seriously if you insist that the two of you focus on managing the problem instead of yelling at each other.