Changing Schools

“You get lost … and the people around you just
look at you and you’re like, ‘Oh my god, what
am I doing here, oh my god, I got to get out of here,’
you know, it’s just a really bad experience,”
he says.

And that can lead to trouble. A survey from Cincinnati Children’s
Hospital Medical Center found that children who change schools
are more likely to get into fights or become more withdrawn.

“[It’s] a real bordering on depression because
they have left their friends,” says Allison Edwards,
a high school head counselor.

What can a parent do? Experts say first, help your child
stay connected with old friends through email, the phone and
even visits. Second, get them involved at their new school
in any way you can.

“The Spanish club, the French club, the German club,
the Latin club … sports are a wonderful way to feel
a part of and to feel needed and included. And I think parents
are wise to make those inquiries even before they get to their
city,” Edwards says.

Edwards cautions parents to be careful about what they say
about the upcoming move because kids are listening.

“As a parent, just give your kids the confidence to,
you know, show them you’re confident and they’ll
follow that model,” she says.

Anthony says the first week or so was tough … but eventually,
he made friends.

“Always come up to a person with a big smile and be
friendly to them,” he says. “[A]lways try to be
friendly as much as you can … let them understand you
want to be their friend.”

A new study from the
Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center shows
that changing schools frequently can put children at risk
of suffering more behavior problems compared to their peers
who have stable schooling. Researchers examined 3,285 U.S.
children aged 5 to 14, identifying kids aged 5 to 9 as “school-mobile”
if they had attended two or more elementary schools and kids
aged 9.1 to 14 if they attended three or more schools. Mothers
of all children were asked to complete a questionnaire rating
their child’s behavior, answering questions about disobedience,
trouble getting along with others, etc. After reviewing the
questionnaires, researchers found that school-mobile children
had higher scores of behavioral problems than those children
who were not school-mobile.

According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent
Psychiatry (AACAP), moves interrupt a child’s friendships.
To a new child at school, it may at first seem that everyone
else has a best friend or is securely involved with a group
of peers. The child must get used to a different schedule
and curriculum and may be ahead in certain subjects and behind
in others. This situation may make the child stressed, anxious
or bored. The older the child, the more difficult he or she
will have with the move because of the increasing importance
of the peer group. Preteens and teens may repeatedly protest
the move or ask to stay in their hometown with a friend’s
family.

Some youth may not talk about their distress
due to a recent move, so you should be aware of the warning
signs that your child isn’t adjusting to the change.
The National PTA cites the following signs indicating that
your child may need help coping with his or her new surroundings:

• Prolonged anxiety
• Depression
• Not sleeping or interrupted sleeping
• Not eating
• Not socializing (for instance, standing alone on a playground
  instead of playing)
• Grades dropping
• Comments from the teacher that our child isn’t acting
  “right”
• Not making phone calls
• Passing up opportunities to do things in school
• Feeling anxious about taking the bus
• Morning stomachaches or headaches

Whether your child is switching schools because you moved
to a new town, your child is currently enrolled in a “chronically
failing school” or your child is “graduating”
to the next level, he or she will most likely experience some
anxiety. The AACAP and Johns Hopkins Children’s Center
offer the following tips for making any move easier for your
child:

• Explain clearly to your child why the move is necessary.
• Familiarize your child as much as possible with the new
  area with maps, photographs or the daily newspaper.
• Plan ahead. Visiting a new school as soon as it’s
  accessible helps to set up a routine. During the visit,
  look for lockers and other useful places like the library
  and bathroom. Meet teachers, whether it be one or six, and
  ask about orientations or opportunities to meet peers and
  role models.
• Describe advantages of the new school that your child
  might appreciate, such as particular sports and artistic
  groups that he or she could join.
• Help your child keep in touch with friends from the previous
  neighborhood through telephone, letters, email and personal
  visits.

American
Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
Cincinnati
Children’s Hospital Medical Center
Johns
Hopkins Children’s Center
National PTA