Geek Chic

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Education Feature
Geek Chic

By Robert Seith
CWK Senior Producer

 

“I think we’re gaining more acceptance of a lot of different diversities. and (geeks) fall right into that.”

Dr. Gloria Meaux, explaining why being labeled a ‘geek’ doesn’t contain the notoriety it once did.


Bill Gates, the worlds richest man. is a geek.

So are characters in popular movies:

Harry Potter.

Neo – from The Matrix.

And Frodo, from Lord Of The Tings.

Geeks, it seems, are everywhere.

“Yea it has become mainstream,” says 17-year-old Meng Huang. a regional finalist in this years Siemens Westinghouse Competition in Math, Science & Technology.

18-year-old Leah Hawkins figures she probably qualifies as a geek. She’s a science fair finalist, with a study of the interactions between chemical compounds.

She says kids interested in computers, science and math. no longer have to hide their passion.

“My friends at home who I thought might be like ‘oh Leah that’s so nerdy’, or ‘you’re such a geek, why do you like to do research and go in the lab’, but I mean really they support me and think it’s a cool idea.”

17-year-old Ross Anderson adds, “A lot of people can just be cool. and still have these geek tendencies.”

The ‘geek’ label, once a source of shame. is now for some, a badge of honor. Experts say that’s crucial to a child’s self-esteem.

“To have something that they can be proud of, that they can really excel in. Which before was like hidden. It was like in the dark or something, they were kind of embarrassed about it,” says Gloria Meaux, Ph.D., a psychologist.

She says unfortunately, parents may still hold that old bias. that being a geek means something is wrong with a child. something that needs to be fixed .

“really, he’s on the ball here and this is his strength and you know to calm the parents anxieties about the child just being different,” says Dr. Meaux.

Bill Gates was “different”. and is now the richest man in the world.

“All the kids in school say what do you want to do when you grow up? ‘I want to be rich’. Well, the smart kids are going to be rich, they’re going to be successful. they’re going to be the leaders,” says Hawkins.

 

Paul Graham knows what it’s like to get picked on. Graham and his parents moved to the United States from England and decided to move to a certain area because the schools were good. Graham says that his parents “had no idea how bad ‘good’ was.” He observed fellow students getting made fun of because of their grades or lack of pragmatism. Because of his high school experiences, he decided to do a study into why smart people – unless they are good-looking or athletic – have been viewed as outcasts by other students in the school. The study didn’t necessarily offer any definitive answers for Graham or society, but it did highlight the views and opinions teenagers have held in the past about smart students.

 

Some kids seem to be doomed to be picked on because of their mental capacities or even their very nature. So is there anything you, as a parent, can do to prevent this occurrence? Yes. You can provide your child with a good foundation, in case he/she is ever in a situation where they might get teased. Researchers at the University of Nebraska have developed the following list of steps to help prepare your child:

  • Teach self-respect. A confident child is less likely to be teased. How can you help? A pat on the back every once in a while works wonders. Make positive comments. “I like the way you picked up your toys without being asked” or “You did a great job getting yourself dressed this morning,” outweigh negative ones. Avoid labeling or name-calling (such as calling a child a nerd, for instance) that may make a youngster feel bad and have low self-esteem.
  • Let your children know it’s OK to express anger or dissatisfaction. Don’t chastise or stop your children when they are blowing off steam. Show them you value their opinions – even if it means listening to a four-year-old argue about why a nap is not necessary or a 12-year-old explain why you are a mean parent. Letting your children stand up to you now and then makes it more likely they will stand up to someone who is picking on them. However, don’t allow your children to put you down or call you names. Teach your children to be respectful to you and others while being assertive.
  • Stress the importance of body language. Verbally asserting oneself is not very effective if one’s body language tells another story. Teach children to hold themselves confidently, to bolster assertive words by relaxing their bodies (deep breathing helps), keeping hands steady and maintaining frequent eye contact. These practices will help youngsters seem self-assured, even if they are not.
  • Encourage friendships. Children who are loners tend to be more vulnerable to teasing. Start early to help your children develop friendships and build social skills. By elementary school, it may be more difficult for a shy child to make friends. Perhaps your child needs help in learning how to initiate friendships or join in group activities. If your child has problems fitting in, encourage your child to seek out another youngster who’s alone a lot, rather than try to break into a group of two or more children. It’s easier to participate in unstructured activities, such as playing on the jungle gym, than to join an organized game in progress.
  • Teach your children to express themselves clearly, yet diplomatically. Help your youngster learn to use “I” statements. This form of self-expression works for two reasons: first, it’s indisputable. For example, if your daughter tells a friend, “I don’t like to play that game anymore,” who can argue with her? After all, that’s how she feels. Second, the statement is nonjudgmental. Your child is not putting the other youngster on the defensive. When children know how to express themselves without stepping on other people’s toes, they tend to get along better with peers – and, as mentioned, having friends is a good way to stay protected from teasing.

 

National Institute of Child Health & Human Development
Journal of the American Medical Association
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry