|
Gossip. The word alone carries a negative connotation, backstabbing, lies, and secrets. But according to research from Binghamton University, not all gossip is bad. In fact, gossip can be valuable and protective.
“Did you see the outfit she had on?” friends Zuri and Meimi laugh.
It’s irresistible, yet often gossip can be painful. “[It] ruins friendships, ruins lives, messes people’s reputations, hurt’s people’s feelings,” seventeen-year-old Zuri says.
“I’m normally the one who starts and spreads the gossip,” says seventeen-year-old Kyle, “so, I mean, I’ve broken up a lot of good friends over gossip.”
And sixteen-year-old Caitlin has been the brunt of it as well, “I’ve had my fair share of broken friendships that I’ve kind of had to rekindle because of things that were said or spread around because people didn’t know all the facts.”
Gossip can hurt, psychologists say, but here’s the surprise, “It lets people really know each other, and know what’s going on in their lives,” explains Wendy Simonds, professor of sociology at Georgia State University, “And that enables people to feel safe. It makes them feel a sense of belonging.”
And in a teenager’s life, it can also act as a warning signal, not to befriend the wrong person.
Seventeen-year-old Meimi Simon found out through gossip that a guy she was dating was trouble, “You know, I had to listen and a couple of weeks later I had found out he sold drugs and he had been locked up and a lot of stuff, so I was kind of appreciative of gossip at that point.”
Still, experts and kids warn, you have to be careful. “I think it’s always a good idea to try to personalize the issue that’s being talked about, what if it were me and people were talking about me this way,” advises Simonds.
“Gossip is fine, as long as it’s not making up complete lies,” says sixteen-year-old Lee, “And just being flat out mean, that’s not cool.”
Finally, like Kyle says, it’s fun and inevitable, “I think without gossip, high school would be boring.”
|
