Preparing for Kindergarten

Kyle is excited for kindergarten,
but he’s also a little scared about the bus ride home.

His mom Emily Buteau says, “He keeps saying, ‘Well,
where are you going to be, Mommy?’ And I keep saying, ‘I’m
going to be waiting right there at the stop sign, and then we’ll
walk back to the house together.’”

Kids like Kyle, going off to school for the first time, have
lots of questions. Robyn Golwyn, a kindergarten teacher at Atlanta
Academy knows the questions well. “Will the teacher like
me? Where’s the water fountain? Where am I going to put my
coat? Where am I going to put my lunch? How am I going to eat?”

Teachers say the best way to calm fears is to discuss in detail
what kindergarten is like. Emily says, “I’ve been trying
to say, ‘Okay, you are going to have lunchtime. And you are
going to have snack in the morning, and then you are going to have
a little rest period.’”

Kyle’s father Mike Buteau says, “Telling him, you
know the school bus will pick you up, the school bus will take
you home. Mommy will be here waiting for you. You’ll have
teachers. All your friends will be there.”

Robyn says, “The best thing for parents to do before children
come to school, is to maybe even come to school a couple days before,
a week before, just kind of tour the classroom.”

Kyle and his mom also practice going to the bus stop. Kyle asks, “Are
you going to be here?” His mom says yes.

There are lots of children’s books about the first day of
school. Experts say read one to your child, and talk about what
happens to the characters. Robyn suggests, “And dropping
them off on the first day, say, ‘Oh, remember how Buddy the
Bear got to school and how wonderful it was for him, and the experience
he had, and how many friends he made, and he played with Playdo?’ And
think of all the things you can do at school.”

Mike says, “The one thing we’re hoping for is just
that he enjoys it and wants to get up every day and wants to go
to school.”

According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
(AACAP), it is common for young children to experience anxiety related to
attending kindergarten, along with the new challenges of elementary school.
Experts at the AACAP have determined the following:

• Kindergarten can be especially hard because the child is used
  to being with the parents and will not want to spend a long period
  of time without them.
• Years when big transitions are made, such as the start of elementary
  school, may be especially stressful.
• The child may avoid school after experiencing a life change,
  such as parents divorcing, death of a pet or loved one, or moving
  to a new neighborhood.

How can you determine if your child is experiencing school anxiety?
The Children’s Hospital of Iowa (CHI) suggests your child may
be experiencing school-related stress if he or she:

• Complains of headaches and chronic stomachaches.
• Experiences difficulty sleeping.
• Appears grouchy and feels tired.
• Has a hard time making decisions.
• Is afraid to be left in a room alone.
• Is clingy and follows a parent around.
• Worries a lot about himself or herself and loved ones getting
  hurt.
• Experiences nightmares.
• Throws tantrums when forced to go to school.

If your child is experiencing anxiety as he or
she prepares to enter preschool or kindergarten, you can take several steps
to make the transition smoother. The Federal Citizen Information Center (FCIC)
offers the following advice for preparing your young child for the first-day
milestone:

• Tell your child in advance that he or she will be going to school
  soon.
• Be positive and reassure your child that school is a good place.
• Never use school as a threat or a means to change your child’s
  behavior.
• Prepare for new school experiences by using puppets or by role-playing
  some enjoyable school activities.
• Read age-appropriate books about going to school to help your
  child know what to expect. Or work with your child to make a storybook
  about going to school.

• Provide your child with an opportunity to experience the new
  school. If possible, have your child meet the teacher, see the
  classroom and tour the building. If this isn’t feasible,
  driving to the school and letting your child see and walk around
  the outside of the building can be helpful.

• Prepare the night before by planning meals, clothes and transportation.
• Consider riding the bus with your child the first day. Check
  with your child’s school to be sure this is allowed, but
  don’t go along if your child seems embarrassed.
• Let your child bring a security object to school, like a stuffed
  toy, or give your child your photo to keep.

Don’t be too concerned if your child cries and refuses to
leave your side on the first day of school. The experts at FCIC say
that clinging and crying are healthy coping mechanisms in very young
children, so don’t overreact. The most important thing to remember
is to make sure your child does not feel abandoned and unloved.

If your child’s fears about starting school are persistent
and begin to cause serious educational or social problems, the AACAP
suggests taking your child to see a child and adolescent psychiatrist.
Unreasonable fears about leaving the home and parents can be successfully
treated, and parents should not hesitate to seek professional help.
The child’s physician can refer the parents to a child and adolescent
psychiatrist.

Severe anxiety problems in children can be treated. Early treatment
can prevent future difficulties, such as loss of friendships, failure
to reach social and academic potential, and feelings of low self-esteem.
Treatments for your child may include a combination of the following:

• Individual psychotherapy
• Family therapy
• Medications
• Behavioral treatments
• Consultation to the school

It is important to get help early. If left untreated, your child’s
anxiety can become worse and continue to cause long-term mental health
problems as he or she gets older.