Liquor From Home

Brian Cove began stealing
his parents’ liquor at age 13. He says, “I figured
I could do the old sneaky trick thing of drink some white liquor
and fill it back up with water. You know, they would never know.
My parents didn’t drink that much, so they rarely checked
the liquor. I thought I could get away with it. I thought I was
slick.”

According to a recent survey by the American Medical Association—-two
thirds of teens say they steal liquor from their parents.

Brian’s mom Patricia says, “We had liquor. And it
never occurred to us that our children would touch it without our
permission.”

Almost a quarter of the kids in the survey say their parents
have given them alcohol. Brian says, “Well, some parents
would say, what their excuse would be, ‘Well, I don’t
want you all going and doing it anywhere else, so I’ll buy
the alcohol. You all can hang out here.’”

“A lot of the parents think, ‘If I let my child drink
at home, they won’t drink someplace else,’” says
Ari Russell, the director of a substance abuse prevention program
in metro-Atlanta. “But I know for a fact that the kids interpret
that as ‘Drinking is no big deal to my parents.’ So
they are the kids that are more likely to drink someplace else.”

Brian started with alcohol. He’s now 24-years-old, and
over the past 10 years says he’s been addicted to almost
every drug there is—-including heroin. Brian says, “I remember
New Years Eve 2000, everybody else is partying, bringing in the
new year. I’m up in my room in the dark planning to commit
suicide because I was just so miserable, coming off a three week
cocaine and ecstasy binge.” His father John says, “I
remember someone that was thin, gaunt, wasted, disheveled, wild-eyed.
I mean, I can’t tell you how many times I looked into my
son’s eyes and I wondered if he was still in there.”

Experts say parents should treat alcohol in their homes as they
would a loaded weapon. Keep it locked…or don’t have
it at all. Russell says, “If you had a gun do you lock up
the ammunition? Well, do you trust your kid not to touch your gun?
Why lock up the ammunition? It’s a matter of safety.”

Brian says, “It’s either you don’t keep alcohol
in your house, or you do and you hide it, but I’m sure the
kids will find it…I did.”

Experts say, often, parents assume their kids are too young to
be drinking. However, many kids start to experiment at age 10,
11, or 12.

“One drink won’t kill you.” Many adolescents
hear friends or acquaintances mutter these words. And while one drink may
not kill anybody, it’s hard for teenagers to stop at just one drink,
and that’s where the trouble begins.

Consider the following statistics gathered by the National Institute
on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism:

• Almost 42 percent of ninth grade students reported having consumed
  alcohol before they were 13.
• About 44 percent of ninth grade students reported drinking in
  the past month. In contrast, only 33 percent of ninth graders reported
  smoking in the past month.
• One-fourth of ninth grade students reported binge drinking (having
  had five or more drinks on one occasion) in the past month.
• The gap between alcohol use by boys and girls has closed. Girls
  consume alcohol and binge drink at rates equal to boys.
• Forty percent of children who start drinking before the age
  of 15 will become alcoholics at some point in their lives. If the
  onset of drinking is delayed by 5 years, a child’s risk of
  serious alcohol problems is decreased by 50 percent.
• Nearly 17 percent of children under 14 years old and 20 percent
  of children under 18 years old live with a parent (or responsible
  adult) who drinks heavily or has an alcohol problem.
• The immediate family members of alcoholics are two to seven times
  more likely than the general population to develop problems with
  alcohol during their lifetime.
• Among drivers ages 15 to 20, fatal crashes involving a single
  vehicle at night are three times more likely than other fatal crashes
  to be alcohol-related. The proportion of fatal crashes that involved
  single vehicles at night declined 22 percent among drivers in states
  with zero tolerance polices (0.00 blood alcohol concentration limits)
  for drivers younger than 21.
• In 1997, nearly 10 percent of ninth graders reported driving
  one or more times while drinking. Thirty-three percent of ninth
  graders reported having ridden in a car driven by someone who had
  been drinking alcohol.
• Of all children under age 15 killed in vehicle
  crashes in 1998, 20 percent were killed in alcohol-related crashes.

According to the National Institute on Alcohol
Abuse and Alcoholism, kids at the highest risk for alcohol-related problems
include those who:

• Began using alcohol or other drugs before the age of 15.
• Have a parent who is a problem drinker or an alcoholic.
• Have close friends who use alcohol and/or other drugs.
• Have been aggressive, antisocial or hard to control from an
  early age.
• Have experienced childhood abuse and/or major trauma.
• Have current behavioral problems and/or are failing in school.
• Experience ongoing hostility or rejection from parents and/or
  harsh, inconsistent discipline.
• Have parents who do not support them, do not communicate with
  them, and/or are not aware of their behavior or whereabouts.

As a parent, it is extremely important to know the warning signs
of alcoholism. The following list was created by the American Academy
for Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.

• Physical – fatigue, repeated health complaints, red and
  glazed eyes, a lasting cough
• Emotional – personality change, sudden mood changes, irritability,
  irresponsible behavior, low self-esteem, poor judgment, depression,
  a general lack of interest
• Family – starting arguments, breaking rules, withdrawing
  from the family
• School – decreased interest, negative attitude, drop in
  grades, many absences, truancy, discipline problems
• Social – problems with the law, changes to less conventional
  styles in dress and music, new friends who are less interested
  in standard home and school activities

Even if your child is not exhibiting any of the warning signs above,
consider establishing the following strategies to reduce the risk
of teen drinking in the future.

• Establish a loving, trusting relationship with your child.
• Make it easy for your teen to talk honestly with you.
• Talk with your child about the facts regarding alcohol, reasons
  not to drink and ways to avoid drinking in difficult situations.
• Keep tabs on your teen’s activities, and join with other
  parents in making common policies about teen alcohol use.
• Develop family rules about teen drinking and establish consequences.
• Set a good example regarding your own alcohol use and your response
  to teen drinking.
• Encourage your child to develop healthy friendships and fun
  alternatives to drinking.
• Know whether your child is at high risk for a drinking problem.
  If so, take steps to lessen the risk.
• Know the warning signs of a teen drinking problem and act promptly
  to get help for your child.
• Believe in your own power to help your
  child.