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When eighth-grader Cearyn started middle school, some of her friends excluded her. “I don’t think they realize just how mean they’re being at first,” she says. And when seventh-grader E.J. got to middle school, some of his classmates started smoking, doing drugs and having sex. “Some people think there’s only one way to fit in and that’s what you do to be accepted, do what fits in the crowd and that kind of thing,” he says.
In fact, middle school is a time of dramatic changes for kids, not all good. Cigarette consumption more than doubles, and 10 times more eighth-graders smoke marijuana as compared to sixth-graders. By the end of middle school, a third of all students have tried alcohol.
“They’re trying to fit in. They’re trying to say, ‘Well this is the cool thing to do.’ To be with this group of people, then I have to do that,” explains middle school counselor Toi Beavers.
For that reason, experts say, early adolescence is a critical time, a time when parents shouldn’t back off. “Do be involved,” explains Beavers, “and do call the school and ask for parent conferences. And with technology, email teachers if you’re not able to call. If they’re hanging out with new people that you don’t know about, invite those people to your house and find out who they are.”
With guidance, kids can make it past the dangers that often begin in middle school. “You just got to stand up for yourself and what you believe in, sort of, and you don’t want to have other people pressure you into doing something,” says E.J.
“You really want to know who your real friends are because if they’re not your true friends they can get you into some bad situations, too,” says Sydney, an eighth-grader.
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By Amye Walters
CWK Network, Inc.
The tween years (ages 10 to 12) are a very important age level to the future of individuals. It’s the time where youngsters cement their beliefs, values, self worth and life philosophies. These are the internal concepts that determine behavior and life paths.
Many think changes in a rising middle-school student are due to being in the new school setting; in reality, the changes are due to the age of the child. The developmental stage of students in middle school is second only to the first three years of life in terms of emotional, social and physical development. This means students in m iddle school share the most endearing traits and the most irritating traits with children who are in the terrible twos. Puberty leaves adolescents emotional and volatile. On top of all this, the youngster is deciding whether he or she wants to be a child or an adult.
Middle schools present many changes for incoming students. Many elementary schools feed into a single secondary school. The campus is large, with many new faces. Students change classrooms and teachers with each subject. Without a doubt, rising students will face many challenges and encounter tough decisions. Here are some statistics to think about …
- Eight percent of 12-year-olds have smoked a cigarette; by age 13 that nearly doubles to 15 percent. At 14, it’s more than a quarter of teens.
- Trying marijuana at least once jumps from 1.4 percent for 12-year-olds to 14 percent for 14-year-olds.
- Lifetime alcohol use spikes from just over one-in-10 at age 12 to more than a third at age 14.
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By Amye Walters
CWK Network, Inc.
All transitions have the potential to become major events in the lives of both students and parents. However, stresses created by such transitions can be minimized. Among the concerns many students cite are: being on time and in the right room when rotating classes; finding lockers, bathrooms and the lunchroom; navigating crowded hallways and keeping up with their materials. Teachers note some challenges students may face: reduced parent involvement, no recess or free time, new grading standards and procedures, increased peer pressure, merging with students from several elementary schools and increased responsibilities.
Parental fears for a child entering kindergarten might have been eating glue. When a child enters middle school these fears have become serious dangers such as drugs, alcohol and sex. As teens seek and gain more freedoms and unsupervised time, they are presented with more opportunities to make bad choices. Here are some counter-actions you can take to help ensure your child will make good choices:
- Consider joining an organization dedicated to the educational and developmental needs of young adolescents, such as the National Association of Middle Schools.
- Experts suggest parents be aware of warning signs but not overreact that each one signals a downward spiral into a life of crime and/or drugs.
- Nurture both the adult and child sides of your middle schooler.
- Give your child room and freedom, but don’t disappear from his or her life.
- Staying involved in your child’s life is the best way to prevent your child from making bad decisions.
- Adults understand one can be independent and still need others. Many teens have yet to grasp this concept.
- Realize things have changed. Kids would rather be at school events or out with friends than at home with the family.
- Nonetheless, make sure your child understands your expectations that he or she remain an active participant in the family.
- Remember that even though he or she may not say so, you child does love you, the parent.
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