Parenting Classes

3-year-old Ahmaud and 8-year-old Tatyana are good kids… not perfect.

Their mom, Candice Green, often finds herself yelling ‘no’ and everyday tasks, like getting dressed in the morning, can be a struggle.

With Ahmaud, the problem is… “Just listening. He doesn’t listen and because he’s a baby I say ‘oh he’s young’ I let him get away with a lot of things,” says Mrs. Green.

And Tatyana?

“Picking up behind herself and staying focused. She has a big problem on staying focused on one problem or task that I give her, she gets very easily distracted.”

So Candice decided to come to a parenting class.

Parents sit together with an instructor, a parent facilitator and talk about everything from getting their child to brush their teeth correctly to dealing with temper tantrums.

“I hope to gain just building my tolerance level for the children so I’m not screaming. On how to handle it the right way,” says Candice.

Experts say parenting classes are becoming popular because today parents need help. they’re busy, often both parents are working long hours… and yet they want to give their children every advantage, including the advantage of excellent parents.

“And they know that they can do better,” says Parent ‘Facilitator’ Paula Robinson, “They always know that there’s something else that may work.”

Here, they can get new ideas… not only from the instructor… but other parents as well…

“We help develop rules. ‘Well this rule worked in my house maybe you ought to try it in yours’,” says Robinson, “There’s always something new we could learn. We never stop learning.”

For many parents, raising a child can be an ongoing struggle. Different problems seem to occur everyday, and just when one gets resolved, another comes around the corner. While there are no perfect parents or children, experts at the National Clearinghouse on Families and Youth have created a list of resources available to help provide information for becoming a better parent:

• Health care professionals, guidance counselors, teachers or the principal at your child’s school
• Your local government, which may offer service to families through a range of social service agencies (You can find the telephone numbers for local government agencies in your phone book. Look for agencies with the following key words: youth, families, mental health, social services, human services or crisis intervention. Many local governments also have an Information and Referral line that you can call for help in finding the right services.)
• Your local chapter of the United Way, which typically funds social service programs in communities
• Community organizations that offer services to young people and their families (Look in the Yellow Pages under “Youth Organizations” or “Youth Centers.”)
• The social work or social service department of a local hospital, especially a children’s hospital
• The employee assistance program at your workplace
• Parent support groups or parenting education classes that address parenting issues or specific issues such as adolescent drug use
• Independent counselors and psychologists in your area (Look in the Yellow Pages under “Psychologists” or “Therapists.”)

Whether or not you decide to take parenting classes, experts at the American Academy of Family Physicians have developed a list of guidelines that may help your child grow into a healthy and happy adult:

• Show your love. Every day, tell your children: “I love you. You’re special to me.” Give lots of hugs and kisses.
• Listen when your children talk. Listening to your children tells them you think they’re important and you’re interested in what they have to say.
• Make your children feel safe. Comfort them when they’re scared. Show them you’ve taken steps to protect them.
• Provide order in their lives. Keep a regular schedule of meals, naps and bedtimes. If you have to change the schedule, tell them about the changes ahead of time.
• Praise your children. When your children learn something new or behave well, tell them you’re proud of them.
• Criticize the behavior, not the child. When your child makes a mistake, don’t say, “You were bad.” Instead, explain what the child did wrong. For example, say: “Running into the street without looking isn’t safe.” Then tell the child what to do instead: “First, look both ways for cars.”
• Be consistent. Your rules don’t have to be the same ones other parents have, but they do need to be clear and consistent. If two parents are raising a child, both need to use the same rules. Also, make sure babysitters and relatives know, and follow, your family rules.
• Spend time with your children. Do things together, like reading, walking, playing and cleaning house. What children want most is your attention. Bad behavior is usually their way of getting your attention.

National Clearinghouse on Families and Youth
Family Doctor
American Academy of Family Physicians