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“We didn’t get in
until like, really late, so as soon as we got there we went right
out,” 18-year-old Candler Reed says, filling her mom in on
the details of her weekend.
Candler goes to a lot of parties; she has a lot of friends. For
Candler Reed, being popular has its perks. “Having things
to do on the weekends, having a very wide circle of friends,” she
says.
But it also has its pitfalls. “My social life was first
freshman through junior year, that was my first priority, even
over my school work.”
She was less likely to do homework, and according to a recent
study by the University of Virginia, popular teens, like Candler,
are more likely to experiment with risky behaviors than their unpopular
counterparts.
“Teenagers who are popular tend to engage in a lot of behaviors
that are valued by their peers. Some are good and some are not
so good,” explains Marla Shapiro, licensed psychologist.
For Candler it was drinking, something her mom was not happy
with, “It was disappointing to find out that she was not
always where she said she was or doing what she said she was doing.”
Experts say, with popular teens especially, this can be surprising
for parents. “We think that oh, our kids are popular, they’re
well liked, they get along well with us, they’re doing well,
we can relax, these are what you call good kids, and I think the
message for parents would be- you can’t ever let your guard
down,” explains Shapiro.
Setting a strict curfew, knowing her friends, keeping in constant
touch are just a few of the things that worked well for Candler
and her mom. “It’s definitely gotten better now, now
that we’ve gotten more involved with her life,” explains
her mom.
“It’s made me learn, I learned from my mistakes,
the mistakes I have made probably trying to be cool and fit in,” says
Candler.
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By Larry Eldridge
CWK Network, Inc.
Many people believe students who are popular set the trends and take
the lead in regards to making decisions. However, popular students are just
as susceptible to peer pressure as other students – and sometimes more
so, because they don’t want to become unpopular or lose their status.
When students – popular or not – are pressured by others
to do certain things or go certain places, it can be very stressful.
Experts at the Do It Now Foundation suggest the following things
to consider to ease the decision-making process:
- Identify the problem
- Describe possible solutions or alternatives
- Evaluate the ideas
- Act out a plan
- Learn for the future (have reactions in place for certain scenarios)
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By Larry Eldridge
CWK Network, Inc.
Being a popular student can be a very enviable position,
but for some students it can also be a burden. The possibility of bad influences
or advice is increased as more and more people surround an individual. Therefore,
it is important for parents of popular children to encourage them to be responsible
and develop good decision-making skills, particularly when it comes to comes
to deciding what things are more important than others. Experts at Omaha
Boys Town Pediatrics suggest the following tips for parents who are concerned
with the friends surrounding their children and the influences they have
may have on them:
- Spend time together – Recent studies indicate that children
who feel close to their parents are less likely to be negatively
influenced by others.
- Use opportunities to teach your children – Some of the
time you spend with your children should be used to discuss problems
and concerns they might face. These discussions give you an opportunity
to offer advice and reinforce your family’s morals and values.
- Listen carefully to what your children say – Talk with
them instead of at them.
- Monitor what your children are doing – Keep track of them,
watch over them and have them check in and report where they are,
who they’re with, and what they’re doing.
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