No Respect for Teachers

Some students say they’ve seen acts of violence or disrespect toward authority happen right before their eyes.

“One time a kid threw something at the principal and started yelling at her,” 13-year-old Rachel remembers.

Tyrone and Tim, 16-year-old classmates, witnessed a similar incident.

Tyrone says, “We were in class and the teacher told [another boy] to do something and he wouldn’t do it …”

“…he cussed her out and threw a book at her,” says Tim, finishing the story.

According to the National Center for Education Statistics, within the last decade, teachers were victims of more than a million “non-fatal” crimes at school, including verbal and physical assault.

“In the last couple of generations, our society has relaxed its rules of behavior, its expectations about behavior,” says Judy Schulman Greenberg, a licensed clinical social worker.

Other experts say that a changing culture has undermined teachers’ authority.

“It’s limited by law,” says Schulman Greenberg. “It’s limited by policy and the kids know that.”

Says 19-year-old Ayanna, “The general thought is, ‘Well, what are they gonna do?’ And really, what are they gonna do?”

But there is something parents can do. First, remind your children that kids and adults are not equals.

“There is a hierarchy of authority,” Schulman Greenberg says. “Whether you like it or not, you will have to adjust and adapt. There will be frustrating situations and you will need to know how to control your emotions and your behavior.”

Also, parents need to follow through with consequences for bad behavior.

“[Kids] have to understand that when they push those limits, it’s going to cost them more than what they’re willing to give up. It will cost them in their freedom, or it will cost them in their privileges,” says Schulman Greenberg.

She says parents must also stress to their child that being respectful is simply part of being a good person.

“You just have to treat others the way you would want to be treated and it comes back in kind,” says Schulman Greenberg.

Will, 15, agrees. “You pretty much need to be respectful if you want to get what you want.”

By Larry Eldridge, Jr.
CWK Network, Inc.

Does today’s younger generation have less respect than past generations? According to a recent poll, the answer is “yes.” Consider the following results:

• Nearly 75 percent of Americans thought manners were worse today than 20 or 30 years ago.
• Those surveyed primarily placed the blame on inadequate parenting.
• People also cited movies and television shows as influencing children to be less respectful.

According to Sara Alice Tucker, a fourth grade teacher in Cornelia, Ga., school curriculum can incorporate learning about respect and manners. Some suggestions include:

• Write/publish original books or short stories about good manners.
• Create “problem manners” stories for the rest of the class to read and role-play.
• Design cards that cover the proper use of eating utensils.
• Make videos of people properly greeting and introducing others.

Take digital pictures of children using good manners, then add text to turn them into posters.

By Larry Eldridge, Jr.
CWK Network, Inc.

By the time children enter grade school, the groundwork for how they will respond to authority figures has already been laid. That’s not to say that children can’t correct bad behavior or change their attitudes, but their home situation plays a significant role in their character development. Experts at Friends Hospital in Philadelphia have created a list of ways to help prevent behavioral problems:

• Establish “together time,” including a regular weekly routine for doing something special with your child, even if it’s just going out for ice cream.
• Don’t be afraid to ask where, what, who, when — where your kids are going, who they’ll be with, when they’ll be home. Get to know your kid’s friends – and their parents.
• Try to be home when your child gets home after school.
• Eat together often. Meals are a great time to talk about the day, bond, and build relationships.
• Become a better listener. Ask and encourage questions. Ask for your child’s input about family decisions. When you show that you’re willing to listen, your child will feel more comfortable about opening up to you.
• Don’t react in a way that will cut off further discussion. If your child says things that challenge or shock you, turn them into a calm discussion.
• Be a day-to-day example of your value system. Show the compassion, honesty, generosity and openness you want your child to have.
• Know that there is no such thing as “do as I say, not as I do” when it comes to your kids.
• Examine your own behavior. Make sure it is consistent with what you want to teach your kids.
• Reward good behavior consistently and immediately. Expressions of love, appreciation and thanks go a long way – even for kids who think they’re too old for hugs.
• Accentuate the positive. Emphasize what your children do right. Restrain the urge to be critical. Affection and respect will reinforce good behavior (and can change bad behavior.) Embarrassment or uneasiness won’t.
• Create rules. Discuss in advance the consequences of breaking rules. Don’t make empty threats or let the rule-breaker off easy. Don’t impose harsh or new, unexpected punishments, either.
• Set a curfew. Enforce it strictly, but be ready to negotiate on special occasions.
• Have kids check in at regular times. Give them a phone card or spare change, with clear rules for using them.
• Call the parents of a child who is having a home party to make sure that there will be adult supervision. On the night of the party, don’t be afraid to stop by to say hello (and make sure that a parent is home).
• Listen to your instincts. Don’t be afraid to intervene if your gut tells you something is wrong.
• Let your children know how much you care, especially when they are having problems.
• Keep a positive attitude about your ability to be a parent.
• Take care of yourself. Meet your needs for support with other adults so you can establish healthy parent-child boundaries.
• Take time to teach your children values while they are young. Live your own values every day.
• Make your home a safe, secure and positive environment. Provide appropriate privacy for each family member.
• Get involved in your child’s school, your neighborhood and your community. You are responsible for parenting your child — not teachers and other authority figures in your child’s life.
• Set clear rules and limits for your children. However, as your children grow, be flexible and adjust the rules and limits accordingly. Don’t forget to help children learn to set their own limits, too.
• Follow through with consequences for your children’s misbehavior. Be certain the consequences are immediate and relate to the misbehavior, not your anger.
• Let your children take responsibility for their own actions. They will learn quickly if misbehavior results in unpleasant natural consequences.
• Be a guide for your children. Offer to help with homework, in social situations and with concerns about the future. Help them direct and redirect their energy and to understand and express their feelings.
• You are separate from your child. Let go of the responsibility for all your children’s feelings or outcomes of their decisions. Your children’s successes or failures are theirs, not yours.
• Create a foundation of mutual appreciation, support and respect; this is the basis of your relationship into their adult years.

Teenagers Today
Education World
Friends Hospital