Teen Speaking Skills

17-year-old
Hillary White didn’t like the way she sounded…

“My friends sometimes told me that I talked really fast,
or I like kind of mumble my words,” she says.

So… she came to a two day program called ‘Speakeasy’… a
two day course designed to teach simple, but crucial communication
skills.

“The way they present themselves might mean getting a job
or not getting a job. Or getting a position into a university or
not getting into a university,” says Speech Pathologist Suzanne
Anthony.

In fact…the U-S Department of Labor found that two thirds
of high school students were lacking in so-called ‘soft skills’,
like listening, speaking, and organizing their thoughts.

“One of the biggest things that I’ve noticed is that
teenagers aren’t always aware of themselves as communicators.
So the kid who mumbles… or the girl who’s really soft
spoken, has a lot of upward inflection in her voice… may
not even be aware that that’s happening,” says Mrs.
Anthony.

The result, she says is that if a student can’t ‘sound’ clear
and intelligent… they may lose opportunities.

“Being a good communicator helps us be successful,” says
Anthony, “And the sooner we realize that and the sooner we
pay attention to it, the more time we have to develop our style
and to be more effective.”

She says parents should check with their school’s career
counselor to find a class that teaches communication skills.

Hillary figures good communication skills will be one of the
most important things she learns in her high school years…

“In life how well you do in math and English will effect you,
but not as much as being able to communicate with people or listen.”

If you look at most people’s lists of things that scare them the
most, public speaking is likely to be near the top for the majority of them.
Dr. Morton C. Orman, author of the 14-Day Stress Cure, says it doesn’t
have to be, however, if individuals are able to identify what makes public
speaking so terrifying for many. Consider the following points Dr. Orman
distinguishes as hidden causes of public speaking stress:

• Thinking that public speaking is inherently stressful (it’s
  not)
• Thinking you need to be brilliant or perfect to succeed (you
  don’t)
• Trying to impart too much information or cover too many points
  in a short presentation
• Having the wrong purpose in mind (to get rather than to give/contribute)
• Trying to please everyone (this is unrealistic)
• Trying to emulate other speakers (very difficult) rather than
  simply being yourself (very easy)
• Failing to be personally revealing and humble
• Being fearful of potential negative outcomes (they almost never
  occur and even when they do, you can use them to your advantage)
• Trying to control the wrong things (e.g., the behavior of your
  audience)
• Spending too much time over-preparing (instead of developing
  confidence and trusting in your natural ability to succeed)
• Thinking
  your audience will be as critical of your performance as you
  might be

In addition, Dr. Orman has developed the following principles
to keep in mind when faced with giving a public speech:

• Speaking in public is NOT inherently stressful –To deal
  with any type of stress effectively, you first must understand
  that life itself, including public speaking, is NOT inherently
  stressful. Thousands of human beings have learned to speak in front
  of groups with little or no stress at all. Many of these people
  were initially terrified to speak in public, yet they learned to
  eliminate their fear of public speaking completely. All it takes
  is approaching the problem in the right way.
• You don’t have to be brilliant or perfect to succeed – That
  is not what public speaking is all about. It all depends on how
  you and your audience define “success.” The essence of
  public speaking is this – give your audience something of
  value. That’s all there is to it. If people in your audience walk
  away with something (anything) of value, they will consider you
  a success. If they walk away feeling better about themselves or
  feeling better about some job they have to do, they will consider
  you a success. If they walk away feeling happy or entertained,
  they will consider their time with you worthwhile. Even if you
  pass out, get tongue-tied or say something stupid during your talk,
  they won’t care. As long as they get something of value, they will
  be thankful.
• All you need is two or three main points – Many studies
  have shown that people remember very few of the facts or information
  speakers convey. While you may choose to include lots of facts
  and information, you only need to make two or three main points
  to have your talk be successful. You can even have your whole talk
  be about only one key point, if you wish. Remember, all your audience
  wants from you is to walk away with one or two key points that
  will make a difference to them. If you structure your talks to
  deliver this result, you can avoid lots of complexity that isn’t
  really needed. This also should make your job as a speaker much
  easier, and more fun, too.
• You need a purpose that is right for the task – This principle
  is very important. One big mistake people make when they speak
  in public is they have the wrong purpose in mind. Often, they have
  no specific purpose in mind, but the one that is operating within
  them unconsciously causes a whole lot of unnecessary stress and
  anxiety. The truth about public speaking is no matter how good
  a job you do, someone is going to disapprove of either you or your
  argument. That is just human nature. More importantly, trying to
  please everyone or get recognition or approval is the wrong type
  of purpose to adopt in the first place. Remember, the essence of
  public speaking is to give your audience something of value. The
  operative phrase here is “GIVE, not GET.” The purpose
  of public speaking is not for you to get something from your audience.
  It is to give something useful to your audience.
• The best way to succeed is not to consider yourself a public
  speaker – While it may seem paradoxical, the best way to
  succeed as a public speaker is not to consider yourself a public
  speaker at all. Many people have distorted, exaggerated views of
  what successful public speakers do. They often assume that to be
  successful, they must strive very hard to bring forth certain idealistic
  qualities they presently lack. Consequently, they struggle desperately
  to emulate those personal characteristics of other speakers they
  wrongly believe are responsible for their public speaking success.
  In other words, they try to become someone other than themselves.
  The truth about public speaking is that most successful speakers
  got that way by doing just the opposite – giving themselves
  permission to be themselves in front of other people. You a can
  do the very same thing. No matter what type of person you are,
  or what skills and talents you possess, you can stand up in front
  of others and fully be yourself.
• Humility and humor can go a long way – While each person
  will eventually find his/her style of public speaking, certain
  maneuvers can be used by almost everyone. Two of these, humility
  and humor, can go a long way to making your talks more enjoyable
  and entertaining for your audience. Humor is well understood by
  most people, so if being humorous feels comfortable for you, or
  if it fits your speaking situation, go for it. It usually works,
  even if you don’t do it perfectly. Humility means standing up in
  front of others and sharing some of your own human frailties, weaknesses
  and mistakes. When you stand up in front of others and show that
  you’re not afraid to admit yours, you create a safe, intimate climate
  where others can acknowledge their personal shortcomings as well.
  Don’t try to do this, however, if it’s not authentic for you. True
  humility is easily distinguished from the pretense of acting humble.
  If you pretend, your audience will perceive this and lose respect
  for you.
• When you speak in public, nothing “bad” can ever happen – One
  thing that adds to the fear of public speaking is the dread people
  have that something awful, terrible or publicly humiliating will
  happen to them. Most of the “negative” things that happen
  while speaking can be handled by keeping this one simple, but powerful,
  principle in mind – everything that happens can be used to
  my advantage. And once you’ve successfully used this principle
  many times, your anxiety about public speaking will almost completely
  go away. You’ll know it will be virtually impossible for anything “bad” to
  happen that you won’t be able to handle. That is a very comforting
  thought.
• You don’t have to control the behavior of your audience – To
  succeed as a public speaker, you don’t have to control the behavior
  of your audience. There are certain things you do need to control – your
  own thoughts, your preparation, arrangements for audio-visual aids,
  how the room is laid out, etc. – but one thing you don’t
  have to control is your audience. They will do whatever they do,
  and whatever they do will usually be “perfect.” Unless
  someone is being intentionally disruptive, there is very little
  you need to control.
• In general, the more you prepare, the worse you will do – Preparation
  is useful for any public appearance. How you prepare, however,
  and how much time you need to spend, are other matters entirely.
  Many of the errors in thinking listed so far often creep into people’s
  strategies for preparation. If you have the wrong focus (i.e.,
  purpose), if you try to do too much, if you want everyone to applaud
  your every word, if you fear something bad might happen or you
  might make a minor mistake, then you can easily drive yourself
  crazy trying to over-prepare your talk. In these instances, the
  more effort you put in, the worse you probably will do.
• Your audience truly wants you to succeed – The last principle
  to remember is that your audience truly wants you to succeed. Most
  of them are scared to death of public speaking, just like you.
  They know the risk of embarrassment, humiliation and failure you
  take every time you present yourself in public. They feel for you.
  They will admire your courage. And they will be on your side, no
  matter what happens. This means that most audiences are truly forgiving.
  While a slip of the tongue or a mistake of any kind might seem
  a big deal to you, it’s not very meaningful or important to your
  audience. Their judgments will usually be much more lenient than
  yours. It’s useful to remind yourself of this point, especially
  when you think you’ve performed poorly.

StressCure
SpeechTips
Allyn & Bacon
Public Speaking Website